Meanwhile, in Zimbabwe...

Editor's note: I don't know what the hell happened in my brain in February--I totally had this post and another ready to go and then never posted them. Doh! So, yeah, um, here we go... two months late. Hee hee heee... (awkward trailing off laughter).

The new "Unity" farce, er, I mean, government in Zimbabwe will begin with Morgan Tsvangirai's inauguration as Prime Minister on Wednesday. Mugabe will stay on as President. In Tsvangirai's speech, he plans to call for greater Western support in light of this great step in the Zimbabwean political situation. Currently, most Zimbabweans live a life of bare subsistence and depend heavily on foreign aid for good and medicine (in addition to the food shortage and civil strife that has plagued the country in recent history, last year, a cholera epidemic erupted).

So, while on Wednesday, Tsvangirai will ask for this: "Morgan Tsvangirai will use his inauguration as Zimbabwe’s Prime Minister this week to appeal to the West to fund the rebuilding of his shattered country..."

Coincidentally, Mugabe's 85th birthday is coming up right on the heels of Tsvangirai's inauguation--February 21st, to be exact. And, well, hey, a party is a party, right? No need to let famine and disease spoil your fun! Mugabe's supporters began last week to "solicit" (force with threat of violence) "donations" for his big birthday bash. Just in case you have a couple hundred kilos of caviar laying around, I thought you might like to know where you can send it for a good cause. Here's what's on the birthday party food wish list:

2,000 bottles of champagne — Moët & Chandon and ’61 Bollinger
500 bottles of whisky — Johnny Walker Blue Label, 22-year-old Chivas
8,000 lobsters
100kg king prawns
3,000 ducks
4,000 portions of caviar
8,000 boxes of Ferrero Rocher
16,000 eggs
3,000 cakes — chocolate and vanilla
4,000 packs of pork sausages
500kg cheese
4,000 packets of crackers

This is seriously sick. And I mean that in all senses of the word.