13 January 2007

'Coupling' - Steven Moffat throws us some crumbs

Spoiler Alert: This is the conclusion to the UK series "Coupling." If you're reading this blog, most likely at some point I have regaled the amazingness of this show to you and tried emphatically to convince you to watch it. So, just in case you're one of the people who actually gave into my badgering and have started watching the series - or are planning to - but haven't finished it yet, STOP READING HERE. If I haven't had the chance to introduce you to the amazingness yet, check it out here on YouTube!








Below is a description from Steven Moffat, "Coupling" creator and writer, of how he envisioned the characters' stories to go after that last episode of Series 4. He thinks there is little chance of the show resuming production and that we need to content ourselves with these few paragraphs. I cannot tell you how sad this makes me as this show is one of the few ever that has scenes and dialogue in it that has actually caused me to laugh to the point of tears rolling down my face as well as fall over. "Oh, Jeffrey!"

Okay, now for the goods:

Sally said yes to Patrick, they got married and are very happy. Especially as Sally beat Susan to the altar, and finally did something first. Patrick is now a completely devoted husband, who lives in total denial that he was anything other an upstanding member of the community. Or possibly he's actually forgotten. He doesn't like remembering things because it's a bit like thinking.

Jane and Oliver never actually did have sex, but they did become very good friends. They often rejoice together that their friendship is uncomplicated by any kind of sexual attraction - but they both get murderously jealous when the other is dating. Jane has a job at Oliver's science fiction book shop now - and since Oliver has that one moment of Naked Jane burnt on the inside of his eyelids, he now loses the place in one in every three sentences. People who know them well think something's gotta give - and they're right. Especially as Jane comes to work in a metal bikini.

Steve and Susan have two children now, and have recently completed work on a sitcom about their early lives together. They're developing a new television project, but it keeps getting delayed as he insists on writing episodes of some old kids show they recently pulled out of mothballs. She gets very cross about this, and if he says "Yeah but check out the season poll!" one more time, he will not live to write another word.

Jeff is still abroad. He lives a life a complete peace and serenity now, having taken the precaution of not learning a word of the local langauge and therefore protecting himself from the consequences of his own special brand of communication. If any English speakers turn up, he pretends he only speaks Hebrew. He is, at this very moment, staring out to sea, and sighing happily every thirty-eight seconds.

What he doesn't know, of course, is that even now a beautiful Israeli girl he once met in a bar, is heading towards his apartment, having been directed to the only Hebrew speaker on the island. What he also doesn't know is that she is being driven by a young ex-pat English woman, who is still grieving the loss of a charming, one-legged Welshman she once met on a train. And he cannot possible suspect that (owing to a laundry mix-up, and a stag party the previous night in the same block) he is wearing heat-dissolving trunks.

As the doorbell rings, it is best that we draw a veil.

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