The Gaijin Strata

Generally speaking, gaijin fall into 1 of 3 categories (for none of which do I qualify):

1) Livin' the High Life

These are the lucky ducks who were either hired from overseas or transfered from overseas and are not only earning big bucks (or pounds or euro, as they're generally paid in their home currency and hence really benefit from the weak yen), but they're saving big bucks. They are paid a competitive salary based on their home country's rates, but almost all their living expenses are taken care of by the company, including, but not limited to, their housing, car(s), children's private international school education, health insurance, transportation within Tokyo, at least one trip home per year for the whole family, driver (if they're big enough of a big wig), membership at the Tokyo American Club - a kind of country club (or something similar), and housekeeper or nanny for the kids. That means that pretty much everything they're making is going right into a savings account back home. And sitting there, earning interest. This is pretty standard operating procedure for most situations like this, it's not particular to Japan. An Italian guy I know who's here working for a German company recently challenged my declaration that Tokyo is an expensive city. To which me and all the Japanese people sitting around him replied, "Eeeeeee?!?!" His 75 sq. meter, 2 bedroom apartment for one single guy is fully paid, including utilities. He didn't even know how much the average electric bill is in Tokyo! But, hey, more power to 'em because it's one of my greatest aspirations to work me out a deal as sweet as this one someday. Also, I benefited from being in this stratum when I lived in Tokyo as a kid, and I can tell you, it's as great as it sounds.

The downside to being in this group is that the people lucky enough to be a real 'expat' have the unfortunate situation of rarely being forced to learn the native language of the country they're living in. They tend to live in gaijin ghettos where almost everyone speaks English to some extent and, therefore, sadly lack in creating an authentic local-living experience. They also tend to work in environments where it's not necessary to learn the local language. I had a situation kind of like this (without all the above perks, of course, though I did get "free" parking all over the city) when I was in Paris and I ended up deciding to take a four-nights per week French class because I was hardly using French at all in the international office I was working in - I ended up using French more to chat with my new friends from Spain, South Africa, Uruguay, and Japan than with French people. Ha! Hey, there's got to be some pluses and minuses for every deal, right?

2) The rare but suuuuuper lucky university-level professor

There aren't too many of these wandering the streets of Tokyo these days, but if you can figure out a way to set yourself up in one of these cushy jobs, consider yourself Charlie (as in "Chocolate Factory, I've got the Golden Ticket" Chuck). These folks get similar deals on housing and paid trips home, but they're paid in local currency and have to pay their own utilities. But the BIG bonus here is that they get FIVE, yes, 5, months of vacation a year!!! And, during the school year, they rarely teach more than 15 or 20 hours a week. Of course, they have to put in time planning lessons and having meetings, but, otherwise, they're free to live the semi-high life. Another benefit of this stratum is that you generally get more of a chance to meet and work with locals and, if you make the effort, learn the language. The major obstacle to hooking one of these posts is that you MUST have a Master's degree. Usually in some kind of language or teaching-related field, but if you don't, that's not an automatic disqualification.

3) The lowly NOVA (or any other massive foreign language-teaching company) teacher

This is still not such a bad gig. You still get a fairly decent pay and are guaranteed a certain number of hours per week so you don't have to worry too much about how much your next paycheck will be. However, these companies are also widely known for ripping teachers off, being really strict with dress and time policies (e.g. Nova doesn't pay you anything if you're 5 minutes late for a lesson even with good reason), having sometimes strange student experiences, forbidding any kind of socializing with students outside of class (e.g. if you happen to be at the same party but didn't know some of your students would be there, you're supposed to leave), and you have to pay all your own expenses, except the initial flight over and flight back to your home country, which they reimburse you for after the fact. Another big minus for me is that you have to use all their materials and there's not much room for including your own lesson plans. This makes perfect sense from a standardized course, chain company point of view, but it just doesn't work for me.

*4) Special mention: Hostesses

There's only one word for this group. This final group is not usually mentioned because of it's bad reputation, long nighttime hours, relatively low pay, and inevitable association with stripping, prostitution, and organized crime. There's definitely no minimum level of education required for this, though I'm pretty sure that most have at least a high school diploma. One girl I met hadn't finished high school, but still seemed a smart cookie as she was teaching herself how to write kanji. Of course, I'm also pretty sure she had some kind of serious drug problem. There's always the stories of the nice girls from overseas who think it's gonna be just partying and a chance to earn a lot money (which of course they'd use to pay their way through school, a PhD no less), but I'd guess that most girls are just looking for some easy money and don't mind having to chat with drunk businessmen who want to grope you. I almost considered doing this just to see what it'd be like - I mean, I'm definitely never gonna be a prostitute or a stripper, so I figured this was the closest I'd ever get to see how the other half lives. However, a fateful all-nighter in January where I was obliged to be nice, out of consideration for my friend, to the really drunk, really obnoxious ass friend-of-a-friend who was out with us at 4 am after hours of watching him get progressively drunker and progressively more obnoxious and me getting progressively less patient (I was seriously ready to ditch the people I was with to escape this guy), I figured that was close enough for me. Final verdict: NOT WORTH IT!! I'm not that desperate though I don't begrudge the girls who are - everyone's got their own situation to deal with.

So there you have it, the 3 plus 1 groups into which most gaijin in Japan fit. My limbo-ness in terms of a job extends to my limbo-ness in terms of stratum status too. I'm not quite gaijin and definitely not quite nihonjin, so while I haven't been forced to take a Nova-type job, neither am I qualified to work as a regular Japanese person (the language barrier seems to grow as an obstacle daily!). I may be poor-ish, but at least I don't have to worry about being deported. Anyone looking for an under-qualified bartender or an over-qualified assistant who can't help you with any logistical problems?