Julia Childs... maybe not

So, recently, I've had this issue with my dishes. Since January I've had this mental block against doing them and have been basically using every plate, bowl, spoon, fork, knife, chopstick, most of my frying and sauce pans, and paper plates until my entire sink/kitchen area (they're basically the same area - the sink is half my kitchen) is literally covered in dirty dishes. Eventually I get around to spending the 3-4 hours it takes to wash everything. Part of the reason this takes so long is because my kitchen is so small, I have to do the dishes in shifts to let one round dry (or I hand dry them) before I've got room for the next round. Today, I begged my friend to come over and shame me into washing dishes and to do the drying. For your information, she was pleasantly surprised that my apartment did not smell, thank you very much.

For those of you who are thinking, so Miki's being messy, where's the breaking news in that (this means you, Ashley), I have two words: shut up! This is waaaaay beyond my usual messiness which generally is just clothes and books and purses and bags thrown everywhere until you only know the floor is there because it's holding up all the junk. This is serious and it disturbs even me. If you get a call from the psych ward about the girl who threw all her dishes out the window, you'll know who they're talking about.

Anyway, sort of the point of all this info (besides informing you on my current mental state) is that because of my recent lack of not only plates and utensils but also space to cut on and the fact that all those dishes also covered my stove, I had to be creative with making "meals" (you'll see why the quotes are necessary in a minute). The other night I was hungry, it was cold outside, and probably about midnight. I had no kitchen, but I did have one last clean bowl and spoon, and a microwave. Here's what I came up with:

Ghetto Risotto*

1 package microwave rice
1/2 jar spaghetti sauce, any kind
some olives, cut with a clean knife if available
olive oil for drizzling
Parmasean cheese, Kraft powder style (though mine is from Trader Joe's)
1 bowl, clean
1 spoon (or other eating utensil), clean
1 microwave

1. Microwave rice.
2. While rice is heating, open can of olives. Eat a few straight from the can. Then use clean knife to cut olives directly into the clean bowl.
3. Pour spaghetti sauce over olives.
   
4. Stir sauce and olives with clean spoon. Find a clean place to put the now sauce-covered spoon.
5. Remove rice from microwave.
6. Place sauce mixture bowl into microwave. Heat for a few minutes, stirring every once in a while.
   
7. Remove bowl from microwave and spoon rice into bowl. Mix until rice is fully covered in sauce.
8. Cover in Parmasean cheese, stir, and put back in microwave for a minute.
   
9. Drizzle olive oil.
10. Eat while lying on bed/couch (small apartment allowing) while watching a "Cashmere Mafia" marathon or some other show that helps you forget you're eating Ghetto Risotto.
    
    *Much love and props to Alisa for naming this recipe.

This would not sell in a restaurant. But, I have a feeling that someday my kids will list it among their favorite "Mom's cooking" recipes, along with my potato salad and anything else I make that doesn't contain eggplant, since I'm sure they'll be sick of eggplant by the time they're adults.